“God, you think you know pop music, don’t you? If someone had come up to us a fortnight ago and asked us to describe the perfect pop album, we’d have instantly replied ‘12 identical songs by a universally-disliked reality TV star who’s undergone so much plastic surgery that she now resembles a cross between a blow-up sex doll and a Martian, all of which detail precisely what a bitch she is and have been Autotuned to such an alarming degree that they may as well be performed by the woman from your car’s Sat Nav.’”

(via Heckler Spray)